Food as a reward
Using sweets as a reward or comfort teaches children to manage their feelings with food – whatever comforts or rewards them shouldn't be something to eat.
Ausführlich erklärt
“If you're good, you'll get an ice cream” – using food as a reward is well meant, yet it teaches children three things that will get in their way later on. First: sweet things are worth more than other food. Second: food is a way to manage feelings – joy, frustration, boredom. Third: you eat when you've achieved something, not when you're hungry.
In the 1980s, the US developmental psychologist Leann Birch showed in experiments with preschool children just how strong this effect is: children who were given a food as a reward liked it more afterwards – and they liked foods they had to eat in order to earn a reward less. So “Eat your vegetables, then you can have pudding” makes vegetables less appealing and dessert more desirable. The exact opposite of the goal.
Comfort eating is learned, too: studies show that children who are often comforted with food are more likely to eat in response to their feelings later in life – for instance when they're stressed or bored. Emotional eating makes losing weight hard for many adults, and its roots often lie in childhood.
What to do instead? Rewards that aren't food: time together, a game, an extra bedtime story, a day out, a sticker, some praise. Comfort through closeness: listening, a hug, putting the feeling into words (“You're disappointed – I understand”). And sweet treats are simply part of life – part of everyday routine, at set times, with no conditions attached and never as a punishment.
The reverse applies too: never use food as a punishment. Cancelling dessert or sending a child “to bed without supper” links food with power and guilt. A child should learn that food means nourishment and enjoyment – not a reward and not a punishment.